Shouts of GRACE

Sometimes I think that when the Lord is trying to teach me something He shouts it into every area of my life. Right now He and I have been working through GRACE.

What is GRACE?
How do I live in GRACE?
How do I give myself GRACE?
How do I balance GRACE?

Legalism says you have to do certain things to improve yourself as a Christian. GRACE says to just be who you are in Christ and watch rivers of living water come flowing out of your innermost being. I am learning who I am in Him so that I can do this. Lord Jesus, please continue to teach me and show me! I love to know You and know myself through You. I want my focus not to be on what I do, but who I am in You.

Research

I have a research direction! I don't have a specific topic yet, but we are moving in that direction. I will be working with two major professors, one in statistics and one joint in statistics and psychology. We are going to be working on missing data issues in longitudinal, panel surveys. I will be looking at the sensitivity of estimates to structural equation models. I am looking forward to getting started.

Praise the Lord that things are moving forward!

Baking

I love to bake. In fact, I just pulled banana bars out of the oven. My only problem is that I don't really have anyone to bake for.

My roommate works for Campus Crusade and has three Bible studies every week. She doesn't really care to bake. So we made a deal that we both think is great. I get to bake her treats every week. This is a win-win situation for us both; I get to bake and have people who will eat them!

Quotations

This is a list of quotations that I have been collecting over the past few weeks to post. Obviously I haven't gotten around to it, so I decided to include them all in one post. May they inspire you, provoke thoughts, and make you smile.

Falsehood has an infinity of combinations, but truth has only One mode of being.
- Jean Jacques Rousseau -

God is a verb
- Buckminster Fuller -

An infinite God can give all of Himself to each of His children. He does not distribute Himself that each may have a part, but to each one He gives all of Himself as fully as if there were no others.
- A.W. Tozer -

Kickball

Last weekend a group of my friends from my department got together to play kickball. Here are a few photos.

I am not actually in this picture, but it was a great group shot.

I am going to score!

I just thought this was a great action shot.

Come Thou Fount

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

This is my favorite hymn. I love the words and think that they reflect my heart. I want to sing the praises of the Lord. He is continually merciful to me. He is gracious, kind, and compassionate. Because of His unending mercy, I have so many reasons to praise Him. I wander, but He is ever gracious to bring me back to Him. This is my prayer back to my Lord. Jesus, You do have my heart. I ask You to take it and make me more life You.

Running Thoughts

As I run through the dew
I think of all I have to do
Because I have a lot due.

Yes, this is how I amused myself this morning while I was running. Happy Wednesday! :)

Storing up

The first signs of Fall are beginning to show. The air is turning crisp, the leaves are changing color, and the squirrels are gathering their store for winter. As I have been watching the squirrels storing up, I am reminded of the following verse from the Bible:

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-20

I want to be storing up my treasure in heaven. I desire for my focus to be on my Father and Savior and His glory. He is my treasure. I so desire for my heart and life to be a reflection of Jesus.

Elated

I am pretty excited right now! This morning while I was on my run I was praying about my schooling future, dissertation research, and school decisions.

Then I run into (literally, he was on his bike and I ran by) one of the two professors that I had asked to work with. He said that we can work together!!! I will be meeting with him and the other professor next week to start things moving forward! I am excited about the work that I will be doing. I am now praying that I can be funded under this project.

Praise You Jesus!

Rover

I am SUPER busy with homework, so this is just a quick post. Here are a few pictures of Don and his car...Don doesn't know it, but I named the car Rover. There really is no reason, I just think that it fits. :) And yes, those are fuzzy dice hanging from the rear-view mirror.

I have a date...

...with my 84 year old neighbor. Over the past year, Don and I have become pretty good friends. He is an elderly man who lives alone next door and although he is older than my own grandparents, he has become my surrogate grandfather here. I take him over baked goods a couple of times a month and when I make a big pot of soup (which is frequent) I'll take him some.

Any way, back to my 'date.' Don has this really sweet old convertible car. I'm not much into cars so I actually cannot tell you the make or model or anything, although Don has told me ALL about it. He has it in storage over the winter and only drives it on sunny days. Well a few weeks ago I told him that he needed to take me for a ride in it someday.

So today as I was coming back from my run he was outside working on his lawn, something that he always seems to be doing. He asked me if I would like to go for a drive with him on Thursday afternoon and have an early dinner. Luckily I have a little break on Thursday afternoon between classes and an evening meeting, so it will work perfect.

Hopefully there will be some pictures to post of his car on Thursday because it is really cool. I just wish he were 55-60 years younger... :)

Self - insufficient

Self-insufficient

I don't think that this is actually a word, but I am using it anyway. I want to talk about the opposite of being self-sufficient. When I moved to Ames I had to become completely self-sufficient. I didn't have any family or friends anywhere near me. Unfortunately I somehow let this self-sufficiency slowly creep into my relationship with Jesus. I began to depend upon my own strength and ability rather than Him working in me. Thankfully He is gracious in showing me areas in my life where I need to follow Him and forgiving when I stumble.

I am dependent on Jesus. I am reliant upon Jesus. I am self-insufficient. I choose Jesus. I choose His way. I choose to have Him be my all. I need Him. I depend on Him. I am His.

On my own I can do nothing, but Him in me can accomplish everything.

"True grace undercuts not only self-righteousness, but also self-sufficiency. God often brings us to a point where we have no place to turn but to Him. As with manna, He always gives us enough but not too much. He doesn't let us store up grace. We have to go back for it, fresh, every day, every hour. " Randy Alcorn in The Grace and Truth Paradox

Favorites

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from this weekend. Enjoy!


This one is in our backyard. The flowers are growing right next to our porch, hence the neat screen background for the picture.
This is a gumball machine (obviously) at a coffee shop that I spent some time at with a few friends this weekend. Why are gumballs so shiny?
This is a self portrait taken in the park behind my house. :)
The river that flows through the park.
New life in the river bed.

Pearls

Pearls: the only precious stone made by pain, suffering, and - finally - death.

Known Knit

Psalm 139:13-14

For you created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

This morning I meditated on this verse while I was running. I was thinking about how the Lord knows my "knit." He created me special and unique. I may not understand how my passions of loving Jesus, photography, and baking, fit together with my gifting of statistics, and combine with my dream and desire to be a wife and mother. Sometimes I get worked up over trying to fit all of this together and figure out how to be all of these things.

This morning the Lord stopped me and reminded me that I don't have to figure it all out. He knit me together with these passions, gifts, dreams, and desires. He knows how they all fit together. He knows what the most important things in my life are. So I don't have to try and figure it all out today.

My purpose for today is to live the day to the fullest while loving and honoring Jesus. That may require me to have meaningful conversations with my friends, be creative, bake something for my neighbors, or be studious in my classes. But whatever the day holds, I desire above all, to glorify the Lord.

Artsy

I am finding that as I spend more and more time within my discipline (that is, statistics), I find myself drawn to the arts. I love photography, music, painting, theatre, etc.

Right now I am just itching to take artsy photographs. I have found this photoblog site that I enjoy looking at and getting ideas. While I am no expert photographer, I enjoy spending the time doing it.

I am really excited for this weekend. I borrowed a nice camera from school and am going to spend some time taking pictures. I couldn't resist the urge to take a few pictures, this one here is one that I took. Perhaps later this weekend there will be some more photos to view...

Stand in awe

Habakkuk 3:2

LORD, I have heard of your fame;
I stand in awe of your deeds, O LORD.
Renew them in our day,
in our time make them known;
in wrath remember mercy.

I do stand in awe of the Lord. Here are some of the ways that I saw the Lord today:
Riding my bike home, I was surrounded by the beauty of the Lord. The sun was shining and there was a gentle breeze. It was glorious!
I had some great conversations with people today and could see how the Lord took care to make each of us unique and special.
On my run this morning, I was able to spend some good time talking with the Lord.
I saw the Lord as I opened my Bible and read His words.
I know that He is here; I know that He is real; I know that He is with me.

Lord, I have heard of Your fame and see it around me everyday;
I stand in awe of You and all that You do.
Lord, continue to show me Your great deeds that You do around me,
May You be known today;
May Your mercy shine in times of trials.

To do list

Last night I spent over an hour talking with my brother. He really does bring out the silly, crazy, funny side of me. We have so much fun together even when we are many miles apart. While we talked about all kinds of stuff, we spent quite awhile discussing some of the (crazy?) things that we want to accomplish in life. The list below contains some of the things we talked about and I added a few more too.

Hike the Grand Canyon Rim-to-Rim-to-Rim: Well Christian has actually already accomplished this one, but I want to do it to.
Ultramarathon: Some running distance longer than a marathon typically 50 or 100 km.
Hike Mt. Kilimanjaro
RAGBRAI: A bike ride across Iowa.

My additions, but I am sure I can talk Christian into them:
Spend a week with a kayak, backpack, and tent along a river or the ocean.
Run a marathon in under 4 hours: This one should be pretty reasonable.
Summit Mt. Humphrey's: We made it to the saddle point this summer, but not to the top.
Learn to snowshoe
Take a ballroom dance class
Spend a day looking through the lens of my camera: That is, seeing the world through pictures.

As you can see, all of our adventures are mostly outdoor activities. I think that this describes us pretty well. I am sure that as we accomplish things on the list we will think of new things to take their place. I am so looking forward to the adventures that await. :)

(Christian, let me know if I need to add anything else to the list.)

One thing I love about Sundays...

...is my Bible study with my mom and sister. My mom, Carina, and I have been doing a long distance Bible study together since I moved to Ames. Most recently we have been studying Beth Moore's Praying God's Word book. We read one chapter during the week and then "meet" on Sundays over the phone to discuss it. This has been such a great book as we learn how to pray scripture over ourselves and others.

I really love the time that I get to spend with them as we share our hearts and what God is teaching us. It is such a fun journey!

One thing I love about Saturdays...

...is a long run in the morning. I enjoy my mornings, so I tend to get up early even on Saturdays. Since Ames is a college town, it is prone to be 'sleepy' on Saturday mornings. Thus, I am able to enjoy a run with few people around. There are the occasional elderly people out walking their dogs and a few other runners, but mostly I pound the asphalt alone. This gives me great thinking time when I can pray and process my thoughts.

This morning we have a dense fog with a visibility of only about 2 blocks. I really felt secluded today. Don't worry, I have a loop that I run through the neighborhoods, so I am not really off by myself.

Today was a happy day...

Today was a happy day...because I got to meet with friend Ann. I get together with her about once a week to talk about life, process what is going on, and discuss what we are learning from God.

Today we talked about BALANCE. I think that this is my theme for the semester. It seems as though it is coming up in every area of my life. I am trying to figure out how to balance school/work with the rest of life. I am learning about balancing truth and grace. I am learning how to balance my needs with the demands of my day.

I never was very good at the balance beam when I was younger and in gymnastics. I don't think that I am any better at balancing now either. I hope in the next weeks (or months) I will improve on this.

(I couldn't just leave it as a sad day because a lot of good things happened too.)

Today was a sad day...

Today was a sad day...because I had to pull out jeans and a sweatshirt to wear today. That means it is starting to get cold and it is only September 4th! It is currently 55 degrees (yep, 43 degrees colder than Tempe, AZ). I hope it will get warm again before winter sets in!

He is Good

I was just reading The Grace and Truth Paradox by Randy Alcorn. He quotes part of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. I was reminded how much I really like this book and all of the symbolism in it between Aslan and Jesus. It is a kid's story, but there is so much in it for adults also. Anyway, this is such a great quotation that I wanted to share it here too.

Susan asks Mr. and Mrs. Beaver about Aslan the Lion:

"Is he - quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."
"That you will dearie, and no mistake," said Mrs. Beaver. "If there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or just plain silly."
"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.
"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver; "don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? Of course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."

The Battle

If I work for the rest of my life, then I want my job to be in statistics. My interests are in social survey research with applications to effect change in the lives of people. I am motivated by the potential to influence decisions and positively impact lives through the use of statistics.

BUT

Honestly, I do not desire to work full time in statistics. My longing is to be a wide and stay-at-home mom. As I start this semester, I find myself in a battle of trying to sort out reality and "live life to the fullest" with my desires and dreams. I am no closer to answers as the questions continue.

So, here I am...fighting a battle within my heart and head.